Overcoming Disappointment

Overcoming Disappointment

I remember very vividly the night we met. I was on a - not so particularly interesting first date - at (the now-defunct Balaclava at Suntec), when I was introduced to Mister P. Coincidentally he was the colleague of my date. We hit it off instantly and my first date turned into a fireworks conversation between Mister P and myself. That was about 17 years ago…

A wonderful platonic relationship developed between us. We could banter and debate about all topics under the sun. I enjoyed his doses of sarcasm and he in turn appreciated my patience and wit. 

Our friendship withstood the different continents we were then based in. It withstood all our major relationship breakups and the various highs and lows of Life. We were always there for each other and it was a blessing to also have an honest man’s point of view on the matters that truly matter.

About a year ago, he sent me a message to tell me that he decided that he didn’t see much sense in having this friendship anymore as he felt that he was putting in more effort than me to “maintain” our relationship. Despite his assurance that he was not pissed at me, I was in total shock! This information was too abrupt; I was not expecting this and certainly not prepared for such a terrible message. "How or why did he choose to end our friendship? I was confused. I was sad. Very sad for months but eventually it was the disappointment that weighed like a ton of bricks in my heart and mind. Great friends don't do such stuff to each other! I suppose I had assumed or perhaps naively expected that our cool friendship would last.... 

The lockdown period served as a period of soul searching, reflection and finally closure for the “WHY” Q that I would possibly never have an answer to. The disappointment abated eventually. 

I’ve always subscribed to the notion that with most experiences, there is usually a lesson (or even 2) to be learnt. Acknowledgment of my feelings of hurt and disappointment was key to moving forward… Acceptance followed shortly after. 

I do think of Mister P from time to time. He was a pretty significant person in my life and I wish him well.